submerge into the soul within

2006-09-03T05:14:00.000-07:00

moved to dont know where, but guys this new link doesnt guarantee better entertainment.

http://crazy-muffron.livejournal.com

2006-07-22T00:58:00.000-07:00

my ipod got stolen. Please pray that i get it back. And the thief will own up to me. Please ipod come back..

2006-07-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

POP POP POP

It's the start of the week. Two weeks into 3rd term, semester 2. and la tarea is piling up. there wasn't as much homework as before.. Now the teachers are maniacs!!

Well I have alas crossed the border of homework/project land. Bleah.. not fun.. Well, I am very sleepy!! tengo mucho sueñor ahora. Dont know why though..

Today I started something new.. I am going to chew my food at least 20 times before I swallow.. why? ¿Por qué? I have too much gas in my stomach after I wolf down my meal in 10 mins. Yeah, but guess what after chewing for 20 times, I still took 20 mins to eat. I thought I took an hour, because it was really slow going and boring.. hahaha..

Right, i;ve got to finish up my geog stuff and punch a hole in the wall.. adios.

2006-07-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

1. Do the following WITHOUT complaints
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged
4. Start your post with a "I've been tagged" then do this

I've not been tagged, I volunteered

Favourites
favourite colours: orange, green, white, pink
favourite food: Japanese, Italian, French cuisine. Singapore's local delights!!!! my gawd!!!!
favourite song(s): too many, but currently it would be Could I Be You by Matchbox20
favourite movie: Man, that's tough.. got quite a number, but I can answer my favourite most recent movie for the past 6 months. Should be Take The Lead
favourite sport(s): table-tennis, squash and pool if its considered a sport. POOL POOL POOL!!!
favourite season: i'm waiting to experience Spring. Gawd, its like too hot during Summer, and like hot AND cold during winter..
favourite ice-cream: Rum & Raisin. Though i'll go for a yoghurt now, healthier choice!!
Currents current mood: pretty ladida..
current taste: popcorn and water
current clothes: a jumper from Big W (like Giant in Spore), a team Singapore t-shirt from the Tiger Cup match. AND a pair of shorts which say Paul Frank but its bought from Bali. So go figure.. With my undergarments too..
current toenail: nothing, maybe some clogged blood and sooner it'll be fleshed-coloured..
current time: 3.19pm
current surroundings: my rented room, a single-sized bed on my left, a study desk on my right, with many blank walls.... BORING!!!
current annoyances: there was this annoying kid singing ITS head off just now in the backyard, if not there's nothing but Sharon's world
current thoughts: How much homework i have to do... BLEAH

First
first best friends: umm.. it was in Primary 3, when I thought 2 bitches were my my best friends.. how wrong was I when I realised several years later how much I was freaking used..
first crush: I think it was Daniel Wu. Some actor who is ever so hot. Too bad it could havenever worked out.
first movie: hahaha, I dont know. Most probably some show I was watching with my Dad and of course not understand anything!!
first lie: It was about some cookie. I wanted to eat some cookie and I forgot what happened.
first music: singing out of tune during Christmas when I was 2. after that it was the Piano.. YA-MA-HA!

Lasts
last cigarette: never smoked never want to try...
last drink (alcohol): a couple a weeks ago...
last car ride: Last night at 10pm odd.
last crush: Some guy
last movie: Pirates of the Carribean 2.
last phone call: "I'm in the toilet having a terrible stomachache, please wait for me." to my godfather.. he's not in the mafia, though i wished he was, cos he's pretty boring a person...
last CD played: More Than You Think You Are- Matchbox 20.. I LOVE THEM!!

Have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: umm.. I dont think so, if not my best friend would think i'm nuttier than i am now..
have you ever broken the law: gosh, I dont know, pretty immuned to flouting laws and breaking rules..
have you ever been arrested: a free ride to a place to get free food and horrible sleeping conditions? probably not.
have you ever skinny dipped: no, cos i aint skinny...
have you ever been on tv: tried to be by holding Mediacorp hostage, but it was all in me head...
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: umm. yeah, when they greeted me in a french way i was like ooh i have to kiss you back too!! yee...

5 things you are wearing: I thought i answered that already... Jumper, t-shirt, shorts, my undergarments, and my glasses.
4 things you've done today: i shifted the tables in my room, researched on Leopold vno Ranke, ate some food, burned a CD, computer all the day long..
3 things you can hear right now: music, the birds chirping, the microwave beeping, my typing
1 thing you do when you're bored: sing/screech

i just realised there's no "2 thing ...." question.

5 people I'm going to tag: who ah who ah??

hello hello

2006-07-10T01:58:00.000-07:00

Sound the alarm!! I have UPDATED!! heh.

Right, anyway, the holidays just zipped past me. While you Singaporeans were having holidays doing what nots, I was dragging my feet to sch trying to feel positive that I am STILL in sch, learning about ....... god knows what..

This time, my holidays were well-spent with my dad and my uncle. It was say not the most fun time ever.. but at least we were comfortable with each other.

So down we went to Adelaide and we met my mum's aunt there, which makes it my grandmother's sister. so yeah, can i scream out loud about the the similarity in looks. I mean they look so alike. though i reckon that my grandaunt looks like my granduncle in terms of the structure of the face, but the eyes and the mannerisms, the ladies are like almost a reflection of one another. Hui, which would be my aunty, my mum's cousin, is really nice. She talks ever so much more compared to her elder brother. Her youngest brother looks like a joker but dont think we really saw the real funny man in him. yeah, and seems like my entire family are the compliments of the chef generation. they can cook!! I mean seriously yummy food!!

Adelaide is really quiet i must say. There are many old churches which eventually are bought over to be converted into clinics, businesses, and discos which i really abhorr. Don't tell me its all in the name of business, where many of your forefather saught refuge in churches eons ago, and where a church is a sacred place of worship.

We walked quite a bit in Adelaide. It's good to exercise to fight the chill in Adelaide. The max temp was like what 14!! By night, our teeth chattered like nobody's business. it was hilarious, cos my uncle kept laughing at my dad because either my dad was too cold and he was always tugged under covers or he was absolutely bushed and was sleeping. Anyway, he was always on the bed, while my uncle had ants in his pants and kept wanting to go exploring.. hilarious.. The last night we spent in Adelaide, we ate freshly shucked oysters for dinner, one after another, popping oysters into our mouths as if they were popcorn. It was fanstastic!! We had oysters and only oysters for dinner, so we got like hungry later in the night. Thank God for pizza parlours ever so common on the streets of Aus!! We had piping a large piping hot pizza for only 5 AUD!! Cheap or cheap??!! And it tasted great too!!

Then, we were off to Brisbane and it seriously is not as cold as Adelaide. We had quite a time in Bris. We held a surprise party for my dad as he's turning 50 this 22nd. I wont be able to celebrate his birthday with him, so yeah I planned one for him while i still had time with him. He was only but surprised. HHAHA.. SURPRISE PARTY!!! yeah.

and yeah, my uncle made me walk with him for ten hours on friday night. and i bought a pair of MAMBO jeans for 50 bucks bcos they were having sales!!! yay!! Bought quite a lot of things. But when I came back, I complained and complained about the pain on my feet. hahaha.. somethings hardly change.

Righto, and now in a flash, the holidays are over and it back to boring old school and its not funny anymore. oh wells, kambate!!

2006-06-03T05:35:00.001-07:00

It has been indeed a long time since ive last blogged. Several things so far have provoked many thoughts, however i have since lost the conviction to express many feelings, thoughts, emotions that run through my head.

Just a little update on my whereabouts, I have finally settled with my godparents. Though they live really far away from my school, I really do not mind the travelling time at all. I mean, yeah sharon is complain queen and dreads walking significantly. What can I say but to admit defeat to the vast lands of down under. BASKET! haha..

Living in Australia for the past four months has indeed stamped a change in my life. I wonder if I became a stronger person or perhaps someone who has lost the enthusiasm for life? These past four months have tried me, and through all these I have really realised that I really do need God in my life. And evidently He has been there all the way. From the second i left Changi Airport all the way till now as I write.

Details of the past months, i will not delve into. Let's just say it was an experience. Now at least I found a home and really feel much lighter.

Things at school are getting better. My peeps are really cool people. God has provided me with another Singaporean girl who I can relate to. It is really the work of God that He should provide such a person in my life because I usually won't take an instant liking to such a personality or character. Despite the many differences I saw and the many clashes in personality, without much resistance I have just accepted Abiy for who she is. And I ain't easy on that, accepting people for who they are.

Friday, 2nd of June, I took the opportunity to get to know my classmates more, and through this birthday, I have come to acknowledge the meaning of true hospitality and friendliness. The Australians who I know, what can I say but the Lord has blessed me. I really had a good night out with all of my classmates playing snooker all night and having good clean fun. PSST!!! HEY WE'LL PLAY POOL WHEN I COME BACK!!!

To all my friends in Singapore, I wanna thank you for being part of my 16 years of life. You guys have taught me about relationships and God-willing prepared for this Australia thing. I love you all, and this birthday, inspite the distance, I will continue to think of you guys and remember all the fond memories.

Thanks for all the prayers.

beat yourself up about it

2006-05-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

Well, new skin and i think i might change it again. heh.. anyway, i had a post. but i dont know where it went and i forgot what i said. haha.. anyway, nothing to wite leh.. very tired now. just exhausted doing nothing. *yawns* maybe i might sleep now at 9 o'clock. SCARY.. sharon doenst sleep at 9.. Well there was once i slept at 930. oh right.

sian ah! dont know what to do!! aiya!! i telly ou. Now very cold!!! very very very cold. WInter is coming.. i rmb saynig once that judging by the heat in autumn, winter will never come. say too early.. now super cold.. the mornings are horrible.. the chill pierces the skin.

And chopper is barking like mad outside. Dont know what he's doing... stupid mutt! anyway, my birthday coming leh!! how?? i give you my address, you should know what to do hor? you have a lot of choices of Fedex, UPS, DHL..... so many, howto miss?? hahahaa.. here goes : 15 Bensley Place, Riverhills, QLD 4074. yeppers.. Aiya, also very sad, no friends.. dont say, i was quite depressed about it. Was and still is.. aiya.. nvm.. till another time

2006-04-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

it is getting colder here and i am starting to wear jeans or longs pants to sleep than shorts. yepp..

tomorrow is Anzac Day, so its a holiday!. time for you to get jealous.. i have a lot of holidays around this time. The Queen's birthday, Labour Day.

I am signing up for Austudy. Its like for students who study overseas by themselves with little financial backup. like they dont have jobs and all. yeah, so i get a few hundred a fortnight.

I just shifted into a new place. I think i mentioned before about the two houses my homestay family owns, well i managed to shift into Michael's room last weekend. I'll take pictures soon when everything is cleared up. like the whole big mess of unpacking!!

I have a dog outside!!!!! and i have phobia of dogs. seriously, i got so scared of the dog i didnt hang my clothes outside instead in my room. Its going to smell but the weather is cool, not so bad.. Well the dog is named Chopper. Apparently it belongs to Caitlin. But Caitlin isn't the most responsible person on this earth. She doesnt quite feed chopper nor groom him. And the best part is that she is incharge of this place. Well, i am not worried about that. I will get my food regularly bcos i can always go up to Suzie and Wayne's place. (Latest News: Caitlin just got kicked out of the house, and Wayne is quite bent on not having her back into the house. Maybe we'll get a new guardian. Someone who will clean, cook wash.) and its like a 20 min walk or so. i can exercise now. Walking there daily or something.

I really like this room but i need a few more furninshings for it. Like a rubbish bin, clothes rack, a full-length mirror, and more adaptors i think. I have yet to plan it out. I will use Anzac day to figure it out.

I have a TV in my rooM!! hohohohohahahahaa... but i dont watch it. cos i didnt connect it. And the wire is too short to put anywhere, if not it'll end up underneath my desk and i dont think i will sit on the floor and watch a tv under my desk.

OOH yah!! i have a desk!! yay!! a good sturdy study desk! i can do my homework properly now. It is kinda occupied anyway, with the huge laptop.

yeppers, there's the show the italian job now on tv. i am going to watch it. and hopefully not fall asleep watching it. I jsut might. hahhaa.. italian job!!

2006-04-19T02:48:00.000-07:00

I just realised how my photos have covered up most of my blog.. hahahaha.. sorry.. well tis a small room eh? anyway.. todya was the first day of sch after an easter break. it was ok..

I woke up with a slight jump this morning at 634. i was groaning like mad, cos it was still early but i just woke up.. and i fell back asleep to really rouse 20 mins before my bus. and i brushed and changed and zipped out of the house.

i think my room stinks of smelly socks. there's this particular corner of my room where there are tons of pairs of socks sprawled all over. heh.. who cares!! AHAHAHHAHA...

and i found my thumbdrive!!! yay!! left it in sch for the entire week, thinking that i left it in Kaima's place. I bet when i was in kaima's place i was thinknig i left in my homestay. ahhahaha.. but it was in sch since the first period of the last dayu of sch. waahahahahhaa... typical sharon! but THank God!!!! thank you so much God!!!

yeppers..

today the first day of sch started wiht the slackest day of the week. had three periods only. saw Mcgrath twice in a row. Gave him a chinese name, mi gua. rice melon. hahaha. and he looks like a melon. ahhaha..

2006-04-16T23:51:00.001-07:00

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2006-04-16T23:50:00.002-07:00

2006-04-16T23:50:00.001-07:00

2006-04-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

2006-04-16T23:49:00.001-07:00

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2006-04-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

I am missing my thumbdrive. Dear God please let me find it....

oh well, i played mahjong and i love it. i like mahjong!! its really fun. Maybe now mahjong might be my number one game instead of Bridge. ahhaha... but my first love will always hold a special place in my heart.

right now, my mind is clouded with worries of my thumbdrive. where is it???!!! argh.. always losing things.. can;t stand it. irritating... hai.. dont get too gun chiong first. wah!!!! cannot la!!!

anw, everyone at my homestay has been asking me where i've been. Its really funny. i have to repeat myself over and over again. Telling them of my deprived conditions. oh did i tell you that Kakadu is infested with houseflies. everytime we take a hike, the stupid flies will buzz and buzz all voer me. ya i know i am smelly and thank you for reminding me by hovering all over me. so annoying having all these houseflies la, mosquitoes la all over and they wont leave!!! they wouldnt take the hint when hands go waving everywhere gesturing them to GO AWAY!!!!!! argh.... stupid insects.

my thumbdrive..

anw, thank you daddy for bringing everything over. Now i feel more complete. hahahaaha... my clothes are here yay!! just that i miss my shoes and my dad gave them all away. Kinda miss my red shoes especially. my birthday gift for myself. Instead i had a lot of birthday gifts for myself. hahhahaha.. speaking of which. this year, how am i going to celebrate or rather pass my 17th birthday?? no birthday bash because i dont have my buddies with me. man..

my dad even brought over my kimono. i might just wear it for UN day. UN day is like our racial harmony day. oh man, i am just so troubled. over the thumbdrive. see how much anxiety a thumbdrive can cause. aye. another gan chiong spider phase. Oh god please help...

okok
i am going to flip my room over again. I am so proud of myself. I just cleaned my room. something i hardly do in Singapore. heh.. i cleaned the bed, the floor, and dadada... yay!! hahah actually it's nothing much cos the room is so small... very small. imagine about a third of my room in Singapore. or half a garage space. yah.. small and cosy.. very sharonnified already. hahaha.. maybe i'll take pictures and post it. haha.. i will use my webcam, yeah i might .. okok.,. tour around sharon's room next.

2006-04-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

update as promised.. so Darwin.. yes.. it as hot hot hot hot hot and boring boring boring!!!!! yeah.. so i arrived at Darwin airport, and i had the most shocking and terrible experience.. call me racist. i really dont like the aboriginees. they go the airport and sleep there giving tourists a very bad impression. i wont indulge in my opinions but basically i dont like them.

stayed at some backpackers motel and Darwin is flooded with them.. serioulsly there are 3-5 backpackers thingy on the same street. yeah.. and yeah back to the trip. My dad and I made a trip out to Kakadu, some national park, and we went to experience livng out in the bush. There were 10 ppl altogether including the guide. My dad and I made up the oldest and youngest ppl in the group. The rest were in between.

So we were all crammed in a Land Cruiser and we set off the Kakadu. Well, the first day, we drove and stopped drove and stopped here and there. We experienced some aboriginal culture and that i kinda liked.. We tried to blow the Digeridoo and yes i was a total failure and that. I just had a mouthful of sand. and threw spears trying to shoot a styrofoam wallaby.. then we travelled.. and we sat this croc cruise. I saw crocs eating, they were fed my the cruise guide and all, and they would jump at the piece of meat. it was spectacular!!! i wanted to reach my hand out and touch the shiny belly of the croc, heh, kinda mad i know. but when you see the skin glistening, its so alluring. hahaa.. then we dont know do what. reached our camping area just befall sunset and set tents up. before that, we went to pick firewood for camp and boy then did i realise, it was going to be PRIMITIVE.. and the rest of days got more exhausting with the hikes and walks and swims in the creeks. swimming with the fishes and snakes. hahaha... well once is enough.. i dont want to go back there. even if you beat me up i wont want to go back.. now i've become much tanner and i kinda dont like it. too dark i think..

yeah. so it was some way to spend easter break. without bathng for 3days2nights, and going to toilets with no flush. aiyo!! dont wnat to say... every city girl needs her lovely city and can never depart. heh.. yeah..

learned how to play mahjong tonight. let's pray that CNY next year would be early and then i can continue to practise.. mahjng is addictive i tell you... sow han.. hand itchy in cantonese.. hahhaa... okok.. heh.. eh JOVELL must play mahjong all night when i come back ok!! hahaha..

tmr i will sign up for my learners!! yay!! drivng!! no more daytona, this is the real shit now! hahaha!!! hahahhahaha./... yay!!!

and then and then.. nothing already.. sch starts on wed, and i have to prepare for it! yikes.. dont feel like gg back to sch.. hahaha...

2006-04-15T22:23:00.000-07:00

trying hard to remember when was the last time i touched down on this site. 24th march 2006. and its now april. I should update.

Well, just this week i spent my easter holiday in Darwin. And i must say, by far, it is one of the most boring states in Aus. Not much of a life there. I told my Dad to "slowly walk" (direct translation of man man zou) if not by the end of the time spent in Darwin city, we would have circled the CBD thrice. hahaha.. anw.. i am distracted by other things and will update lter. i know you can can hate me for this but this is way more interesting thatn blogging

2006-03-24T00:42:00.000-08:00

"Next Stop" the bus light kept flashing. I dont know if i'll ever stop in life. Its like a bus ride sometimes. Stop after stop, people alight and board. And there you are at the back of the bus wondering when you'll ever reach your destination. and when you do, you hesitate to step your foot down. I always wonder what's beyond my stop. the next stop. when and where will it be my next stop?

ooh yah, today there was a rainbow. First time i had ever seen it so distinct. Thank God i was sitting the bus with frenchboy if not ppl would have thought there's a mad chinese girl hoping about at the back of the bus ranting and raving about a beautiful rainbow. hahahhaaha.. well, i think i will get back to blogging soon. i have the time for now.

Today, it was so funny during math. Two dumb blondes. Me and Cecily. wahaha.. ditz.. we were zoning in and out. Being so detached from math.. typical. so anyway, i am heading down to the gold coast tmr with my homestay family. last week i spent the weekend with Abiy fishing and getting sunburnt. only the back was chao tah and now is furiously peeling. tmr i'll toast the front. get it even.. ahahah..

and i miss all of you guys!!! Jeremy go get Fashion Week tickets!!! big dumbo!!

2006-03-18T03:46:00.000-08:00

I MISS TIM..
I MISS TIM..
I MISS TIM..
I MISS TIM..
I MISS TIM..
I MISS TIM..

Tim, we miss you so much! Keep in touch!!!

2006-03-14T04:02:00.000-08:00

once again, my fingers stay stagnant on the keyboard as i really think about what to blog about. A fly buzzes past my ear, making my neck muscles cringe and cramp in the cool of the night. its 10 pm, i should be in bed, making my way to slumber land. I am tired. truly i am, my eyelids seem to be weighed down but i want to blog aomething.. really something.. i lack the motivation and the inspiration to write about anything now. Cos the my despondance grows thick like dark in the sky. andyes i think i'm a little crazy.. cos i am writing rubbish... ahhahaa.. hai, but really nothing much happened today. hai.. i better get some shut eye.. tmr there's freaking sch.. i only have 3 periods. English math and geog. after that i have sport but i think i will join the art class instead..

2006-03-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

Gossip gossip gossip, that's what this house of people are great at! seriously! Suzie ans Wayne are away and left the house in the care of a few friends. And shit are they gossiping from day to night.. ugh, don't they ever get tired?! I mean they talk endlessly about some person, revolving around the same rpoblem all the time. Being utterly ridiculous.. man, even I as girl would find it really annoying.. darn..

Anyway, really thinking of closing the blog down.. i am not blogging regularly and there's nothing much to talk about seriously.. bcos sch here is different yeah but not that different.. you know. it can get boring.. yeah mate.. i'm hungry and i'm heading for a bite..

2006-03-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

It has already been a month, yet it doesnt feel like a month. The past three weeks have been better.. Way better than Cat's place. I've been crashing with Esther and Michelle! Thanks so much!! Now that i'Ve found a permanent place, seriously i am so much at peace now. My emotions are not so volatile. Thoug i definitely do miss everyone everyday, but gradually as i adapt better to Australia, the pain of being away from everyone diminishes as my daily activities clamber for more attention. Everyone has been askingabout sch, well here's my answer..

It's ok.

Though its a different environment and all, but learning is all the same. Somehow the perspective shared is pretty refreshing but still i can identify with the opinions shared. you know back in Singapore I used to be pretty vocal in class, but here i shut up bcos there are always a few ppl who dominate the class discussions. And it gets so boring hearing them all over again, but its good, at least we dont really have to think so much.. yeah hahaha.. but seriously, if they shut up once in a while, others would get an equal chance too.. anw, aiya, but school is fine. But the system here is such there it allows room for disrespect.. its just the culture.. but i'm loving it!

I have friends.. ahhhaha.. duh.. they're mostly Taiwanese.. YES i speak chinese ok! and its getting better.. i use too much chinese here i can really used to it.. bilingual!! plus my limited cantonese and limited spanish!!! yay!!!! ahahha.. hear me rattle..

anyway, its a month, its a month already.. man.. i have mixed emotions now. I am really starting to love it here.. yeah.. I wil come back yeah but no longer sharing the same love as before. sentiments yeah, but when i come back, it'll be a lighter feeling. No more will i carry the burden of knowing my mum has departed already. yeah i think going to australia is really relieving my pain. I dont think so much of her, like that i dont hurt so much. I think i have been harbouring a lot of un-confronted emotions. Now its really better.. Thank the Lord still for all His provision. In He will I be rested..

2006-03-03T05:43:00.000-08:00

I just read Tim's dirty poem. Man, i feel his deprivation! hahaha.. ok, let me tell you all. I am like in my paradise or something. I have a french man, a netherlands one, and a korean. There's this jap girl but she's not much to talk of. Anw, i know my dad would go like better be focused on your studies.. hahaha yeah i will. But everyone here is so funny. like there's tim, the dutch guy. he's pools man baby! he's pretty fancy with the snooker thingy.. then there's julien. this french hunk whom i will secretly admire.. hahaha now its not so secret.. but hell he's hot man! *sizzle* and then the korean guy he's really funny. He's quite random and its really hilarious to have the whole house together... Of course the man of the entire comedy is ALEX!!! he's this 11 yearold rogue, imp, child whoever, who makes everything all so round!! cos he's chubby and all but he's really funnaye!!!!! seriously, and he's a little charmer. And of course to the lady who houses people like us, is SUZZZIIEE WHITE!! yeah she's fiesty!! man i'm loving it!!

hahaha... no worries dad, i can always lock myself up in the room..

2006-03-02T01:57:00.000-08:00

to blog or not to blog, that is a simple question to answer. i haven't had the net connection! well, school is getting like weirder.. i dont know. work is really catching up! but its ok i can handle it. I just shifted to a permanent homestay!! yay!! tis really cool here. And i unpacked everything!! almost.. finally, no longer out of a suitcase.. so anyway its pretty ok here.. you have to getused to it as usual.. n oh well i want to say so much but i dont feel like typing it al down.. i just am too tired trying to adjust..

2006-02-24T06:50:00.000-08:00

I found a home. thank God!! i now don't have to dig clothes out from my suitcase. thank God!! yay!

2006-02-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

School computers suck!!! i can't open my blog and i can't listen to sample music for my drama research.. they said research.. i am doing clean and good and thorough research but i can't hear a thing nor see a thing.... argh... stupid library!!!

2006-02-18T04:18:00.000-08:00

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you!!!! you're not a friend you're not my friend. you said you were my friend! you horrible liar!!! i hate you. i'll never trust you again. never. never!! i'll never trust you liz law. never!! cos i really hate you this time.

worst night ever.

2006-02-18T03:01:00.000-08:00

right. Say someone gives you a contact to a friend in Australia to help you out or something. But the friend turns out to be someone who smokes and drinks. The greatest looney on earth says " i tell everyone not to smoke really. Its an expensive habit and its really not good for your health. I am a nurse and i have seen patients die from lung cancer. Really smoking isn't good for you." Then she puffs. WAHHAHAHAHA... Then she justifies by saying that only minority of smokers will get lung cancer bcos he or she is the unlucky one who has the cancer cells activated. then she puffs. really, what the hell!! she's 25, i'm 17. hello!!! whatever happen to be a role model??!!! no wait. what ever happened to the morals?? so yeah anyway, she invited me for dinner and i i had to wait endlessly for 8 o'clock to come even after having endured a day of school. You know the sun really beats us up. on the whole, it was a horrid experience and she offered her listening ear if i really ever needed it. Yeah like hell i'm going to call you back.

but anyway, its over. bugger.

Bris is freaking HOT!!!! its really what you call sweltering heat. Everybody beckons winter. I, however, knowing that i am a wimp in the cold, would want to take the seasons at one step at the time. Let autumn breeze through first then say.

people, if you read this, let me update you on somehting very grave. I dont have a home. well i told you guys that i had already arranged accomomdation before i left. yes i did, but guess what. the homestay didnt work out. I didnt like her nor did she like me. the was this huge, effing enormous generation gap which simply really turned me off. She complained too much, talked too much during the TV. and her house was FILTHY!!! argh. i am messy and lazy but not filthy. i mean filth!! after a bloody week, i had to jet out! stayed the weekend with my godparents. I could always live with my godparents but its really far and i dont want to inconvenience anyone. So finally, i'm crashing with esther temporarily bcos her mum flew to Singapore and let me use her room until march. really thank esther for being so gracious. But still i need a permanent place. I can't live out of a suitcase!!! you know how i have to dig for my clothes??!! aiyo. but a permanent place is good.. Pray that i can find a good homestay. pretty please. Everyone has been really helpful in every way they can and its lovely. The school can't arrange homestay for me bcos i am not an international student but a PR. so hai, please pray for my accomodation. its really eating me every day. its so stressful!!!

school's fine. esther hates me. she's being devoured by assignments, while i'm just ladida-ing away. sorry man. i'm grade 11 and in a public school. slack.. hahaha.,. dont say so fast, IB might just pull the reins tighter when least expected. haha..

2006-02-10T01:39:00.000-08:00

i've not been blogging for a while, because i didnt really have much computer access. sch's fine.. just that its very very hot and bcos of the temperature, it's very exhausting. think i might close this blog down.. and set up a new one.. maybe.. dont know.

2006-02-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

g'day! *aussie slang*

Night flight is a beautiful affair. You ride with the stars. I didnt manage to sleep much bcos Qantas made planes small. Looking out of the window, it is as if you could pluck out a handful of stars. At many times, it felt like the plane was not moving bcos the skies are so vast the stars seemed to travelled with you. The Lord has definitely been providing! After i boarded the plane, i was crying and crying asking myself why i had to such a wreck?! but there was this lady who once likeme, went to NZ to study after the Os. We had a good time laughing and joking for a while, then she went to sleep while i watched Corspe Bride. Tho exhausted, i only manged to sleep for 2 hrs and woke up feeling disarrayed again. ahh.. schmuck! moped around, trying to fart like crazy bcos i had SOOOOO much gas, if i were to burp it would be burp with vomit. Marvelled at the handiwork of God, and the most spectacular display happened. The sun rose, and at the oddest corner of my window, the dust sparkled and formed a horizon full of the largest rainbow i've ever seen. It stretched so far that when i tried to look further, i bumped my head against the window, stirring a couple of ppl from their sleep. heh..

after sunrise, it was breakfast and then shortly after that, i arrived. I manage to clear customs without any hitches. I was even brave enough to let the dog sniff me. YAY!!! hahaha.. everyone commented on the fake bouquet of flowers i had. THANK YOU 6H!!! then i waited for my godparents and immediately went to sch witht he intention to pick up a few things and wait for monday to come. Ended up frying my brains in the sweltering summer heat with the other students for a full day. I was half zoned-out but mange to stay awake until 3. the school experience is so different. I found myself walking abt more than sitting down. Carried my pack everywhere and asked around here and there to find my classes. THe compound isnt big, just confusing. The time-table is the worst time-table i have. I can't read it. I don't know what my lessons are and dont know what time. They do it in periods. And heck! i can't read periods!!! nvm, gotta get used to it. After sch, went home to my godparents, showered and slept from 5/6 o'clock to 12mn. Woke up thinking it was like dinner time. ha! my foot, everyone was sleeping. I began to unpack a few things looking thru some sch stuff and thinking of what i have to do. at abt 1-odd am, fell back asleep and woke up at 9. so this is first day here. and there will be more to come. I'll be homestaying somewhere else after this weekend and tt place doesnt have an net connection. so i'll only use the comp the next weekend. i'll keep it updated. i think. lots of catching up to do.!!!!! fried brains..

2006-01-30T09:14:00.000-08:00

i have to write this..

Sharon's questionaire:

Remind me why I love movies but exceptionally hate cinemas?
Why am I so different from my relatives of my descendants who decided that Nanyang wasn't their destination then but now?
Am I prejudiced against my people?
I don't know if I should be impressed by the Chinese or really show disgust and contempt to their unsccapetable mannerisms and behaviour and most of all attitude?

4 age old questions of the month. Can you answer them?

Sharon's story:

It was the 2nd day of the Lunar New Year, Sharon had already finished all her visitations on the first day and had the second day free. She and her dad were invited to high tea at the Enquinox at The Stamford. After high tea, the invited and the invitees proceeded to watch a movie. I am not stupid too was only available at 945pm and they had abt two hours spare. Sharon's Dad had been looking forward to watching Fearless since its release and made use of the in between time. So, the two families seperated and agreed to meet later for the other movie. So Sharon and her Dad went into the theatre. Throughout the movie, there was this couple who had the impression that the theatre had no one else but them and that they could continue practising their habits of commenting and commenting and talking and talking. Sharon was very irritated and she hates inconsiderate people in the cinema because they simply spoil atmosphere the director worked so hard at building. So Sharon, once or twice shushed the couple and continued being disturbed.

Now, the couple really maxxed out the patience of the couple sitting in front of the chatterboxes. And the fat man begun telling the guy behind to really zip it because it offended Sharon and the theatre. (Fatty doesnt know me anyway)

I can't write as the third person anymore i am going to scold the couple.

They were from China bcos their funny funny accent gave them away. China MEN!!! When can they prove themselves to be decent and appropiate in behaviour??!!! WHEN??!! bloody hell! He talked and talked like he would just die if he didnt utter a noise. People ask him to shut up and damn straight he was in the freaking wrong, he retorted and said in that idiotic accent " why its my mouth i want to talk! why can't i talk?!" Its my hand, can i slap you?! Have you spared no thought about the other viewers? were you thought no manners and brought up in the village with the other swine in your backyard? snorting your way through a movie??!!! Dammit!!! what the hell is your problem??!!!! Sue me for this post, but who's in the wrong here??

and the issue escalated to a point where the guy in front most probably threw a drink and him and of course it nearly erupted into a fight just like the fights in Fearless just that less grace in movements and roughly thrown punches. But pity there wasnt a fight in a fight show. So anyway, it wasn't quite deserving that the chinese guy shld be splashed at, friend where were your rotten eggs?? haha.. but the chinese woman called the cops!!! &%$^&#&%# My GAWD!!!! YOU *toot toot toot* You are the trouble-maker, and you call the cops. oh you really werent taught were you??!!

Am i too ashamed of such poor behaviour, i am a chinese of a certain descent. I take a certain amount of pride to being a Chinese. I am bespectacled by many displays of marvellous Chinese culture and talent. I am impressed by the speed of the Chinese market and business and blah blah blah. But seriously, basic manners are still of a neccesary must isnt it?! how many unpleasant encounters do i have with Chinese people? a couple and they really are nasty! one at Mcdonalds and now in the theatre. Sure you can talk but not through out! Please people from wherever not only China, you want to watch a movie, others too want to watch. we are not you, don't expect people to be tolerant when you're such a bloody asshole. and you call the cops??!!! unbelievable!! Absolutely stunning!!

2006-01-26T20:14:00.000-08:00

i'm sick bcos of continous diets of chocolate milk and love letters. deserving..

i went for a facial yesterday by courtesy of Dr Chan. YOW!!! it was painful!!! yikes.. and i curled my lashes, and trimmed my brows. still look the same.. Tmr, its the eve of the Lunar New Year. it means 5 dadys later i wld fly!! over and into the clouds and then reappear in the land where i would breathe the new air which will sustain my years ahead. Like that, i'm gone. 17 years here, and always i've wanted to study overseas, go overseas permanently and never look back. But now that's its presented on a silver platter, i am no longer that eager to devour it anymore. Friends come and go and i've made many from 4 schs and 7 neighbourhoods, but the memories shared is something that is heavy and weighs me down. i trunk full of memories to be taken everywhere i go, consider it burden, but consider it a blessing, a source, an expression of love. *sighs* Its hard to leave but i really want to go.

The chapter in Singapore is coming to an end, not a dramatic ending, subtly and quietly fading into the next sequel of my life. To everyone whom i met, even those on the streets and prank callers, thank you for making my life so colourful. Every second spent with everyone is special, every moment is sacred be it when we were angry or happy. Thank you..

i won't blog until i arrive in Aus. then a new chapter begins..

2006-01-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

hello hello, well its been a week of fun fun fun.. three nights at serene's hse then another at bao yi's hse. enjoyed both as much.. nothing spectacular happened.

hmm.. dad came back with loads or dvds!!! yippee!!! better watch all of them before i leave.. just watched perhaps love. slightly confused, intend to watch again. And today i just finished flying daggers.. Takeshi full blast!!! he's not too bad la. he's not just another pretty face but its not like i enjoyed his acting tremendously. next i intend to watch election, and dragon squad. my favourite boy! Shawn Yue!!! hehe.. dad bought maybe 7 8 dvds.. dont know didnt bother to count.

people have been asking me how am i feeling now that its only a week before i leave. before i continue, my blur friends and cousins, i am studying in a public sch and will come only in dec unless there's smth urgent that happened in Singapore, then i'll fly back. i am not going to University, cos i'm not old and smart enough. and yes my e-mail will not shut down, and i am homestaying with one lady. so there you have it. if you're still quite unclear, its ok, there's not really a need to know, i'll be bringing my laptop over so net communication is not a problem.

oh yes my feelings, erm actually, right now its nothing much.. i am just worried abt my baggage.. you know me i shop and shop and shop, so now i have to pack and bring like mad!!! ah doi, i can cry..

anw, i was thinking what extra courses i shld take up in Oz, cos there's gotta be smth to keep me busy other than just school work and my depression.. haha.. well, let's see what i can get my hands on there.

Talking abt there, when i was a kid, i really watched too much TV, so i was easily influenced by unrealistic things. I dreamt that one day i would leave a double life, by day i was this average kid, but when the sun sets, i'll be something else. Like a car racer or a secret agent. hahhaa.. haiya, still grew up to have achieved nothing but a big mouth which unloads all sorts of rubbish..

i have this perpetual drilling din outside my window, grrrrrrr.... grrrrr... ddrrrr...... drrrdddrrr..... oh please stop!!! the drill does not only hurt the walls but its noise brings much pain to our ears. oh it stopped..

aiya, there's nothing much la, its just another normal day with nothing to buzz abt..

2006-01-17T05:05:00.000-08:00

there's nothing much to blog abt, just that i'v squandered my money..

2006-01-14T06:40:00.000-08:00

i'm at my cousin's hse again!!! YAY!! hahaha..

i shld update, but there's really nothing to upate abt except i got a minor job and earned 60 bucks but quickly spent 75% of it on a dinner treat with dad. See.. i'm filial.. but after i paid, i wept buckets!! 15 bucks!!

well, dad's leaving for china soon. i'm going to miss him as usual. hope he's safe..

Mr Bean

2006-01-11T22:39:00.000-08:00

Heh.. kinda cute right Bean..

Photobucket

2006-01-11T22:33:00.000-08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

moulting season

2006-01-11T04:47:00.000-08:00

so check out the new skin.. hahaha... its kinda fun, doing all these nitty gritty details.. did nothing much today. fantasized quite abit but that's all.. This Friday i will go to an office to do work.. Consider it work, haha, it's more like a favour with financial returns. $60 to write 1000 new year cards from 930-6. For a mundane job like this, its quite.. i dont know. Cheap? hahahahhaha... dont know. AND NO, DONT COME LOOKING FOR ME FOR A TREAT. I WONT. you're not the one migrating ALONE. repeatition=emphasis (raj)*shudders*

so right..

there was once i blogged abt my future husband and who he had to be. It WAS a Japanese Chef, cos he would then whip up fantanstic dishes for dinner and meals. hahaha.. the innocence of fairytales.. But now, going to Australia, and going on to 17, things change, perspectives change. These intimate secrets are not to be exposed now..

was talking to esther today, agreed to take driving lessons together. Kinda cool, i'm actually DRIVING.. bye bye daytona!! hahaha... I am 17 this year, a few years ago, it seemed lightyears away. years just flutter by hardly being noticed. I enjoyed 2005 thru the bitter and sweet. And i guess last year will definitely change the person i am. A person as a whole. It feels different. Gone are those years when i felt that i never quite grew up, it was still the same sharon the year before and now. 2006, regardless the resistance to change, a changed whether for the bettter or worse or in no direction sharon breathes her breath along with 5,999,999,999 people. If i got billion correct.

like the red lady, i will eventually be like her someday, like a lady. But first, i have to learn how to sit properly.. hahahaha..

holidead

2006-01-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

This month marks the new year for many racial groups and hence still the "holiday" mood. Well, like any other typical public holiday, the malls are "Singaporeanly" packed! Jurong Point, a constant reminder of Singapore's high population density. It's a public holiday, i repeat, so Indian workers have the day to do some shopping at attractive Jurong Point. Perhaps in India, people are used to brushing against each other because it is also so crowded and congested with not only people but vehicles too. Perhaps they don't really bother who's skin is against theirs because they're like used to it. But this pissed off girl here with sore muscles isnt! And not very inclined to get used to it as well! So, at Jurong Point, people were shoving and jostling. But certain Indian men had to brush their arms across me. I wont indulge in the details. I am not racist ok, but it is simply unacceptable for men to have their arms hanging loosely off their shoulders and oblivious to the person walking beside you. Maybe in India the women dont care, but at least show respect for people in general here.

I wouldnt say my modesty was violated but it irks me that people just brush past you and dont turn around to apologise just in case you might actually have offended the person unknowingly. Its basic courtesy especially when its of different genders. And giving dirty looks to men striding way off isn't at all appeasing, just makes you madder at the insolence and oblivion. Hey, if you're an Indian and you're reading this, this definitely isn't racist ok, its a matter of being somewhat considerate. And it so happens that these incidents always turn out to be Indian men. If you're offended i hope you close the window and turn away, for my fury and anger will be oil unto your furnace now.

Anyway, enough of that. I finished reading White Oleander. It is a good book but undenialbly depressing. I can't fully appreciate the art of this novel bcos i lived sheltered luxuriously compared to Astrid in the book. White Oleander is recommended to be read during this season of the chilly winds the rain brings or rather during the grouch of the Weather.

Its late and i should have an early night after 3 consecutive nights of staying up in eagerness to finish reading Astrid's tragedy. goodnight.

2006-01-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

2nd post for the day:

Life is what you make of it yeah? Of course there's a God element behind it all.

Yesterday, i made life pretty interesting.. wanna know??

church
quarelled with my dad
stiff/sprained neck got worse
packed my room but not much done bcos of limited movement
lay down on the bed
folded origami
packed
phone
phone
phone
lay down *F*** it really hurts*
origami
phone
phone
phone
origami
origami
read
read
read
read
read
hungry - juice and bicuits
read
read
sleep
woke up
washed up
throw away things from the room
watch TV
pack
eat lunch
blog

this is it, what i did from yesterday till today.

2006-01-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

it raining its pouring.. ouch my neck still hurts! *sing-song*

i read the book White Oleander last night till 2am. finished 5 chapters. its that kind of book which makes you feel all weird inside bcos even though you know its just a story, there are ppl experiencing such things in reality. i thought white oleander rang a bell but brushed it aside and borrowed the book. until last night, when i was blog-surfing, i realised it was a book of Jia's list. Right.

I am going to fetch my cousin from school today. She just transferred into St Margies this year. I have left a legacy!!! transferring schools all the time. Well, i hope she enjoys St Margies as much i did. And then, after fetching her and drinking soup at her house, i would then travel down to Ngee Ann Poly to meet another cousin and we'll study Amath. Kinda schoolie again, but at least i have something to do.

I can't wait to start school over there in Australia. I want to do something!! and i have been mundanely studying for the past 10 years and counting and its the only i do the most but not do the best. funny eh.. doing it for a decade and still its never tuned to perfection. But then again, its studies!!! come on, we're talking abt sharon too. though both of us may start with the the letter "s", like poles dont always attract you know. *magnetism*

anw, my neck still hurts. its bloody sore still.

2006-01-08T02:34:00.000-08:00

my neck hurts.. i mean it really hurts. Its BLOODY sore. its real bad, if i twitch a little, pain scratches at my muscles. it hurts like shit!!! i can't go much. not much really. i can't bend my head. searing pain.. ouch!!!!! What do you call it?? stiff neck?? or sprained neck? Either WAY, it bloody hell hurts!!!! call a doctor please.

2006-01-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

i just realised that i am no longer really included in a lot of outings.. i am kinda not so important a friend. so right.. i'll just sit at home and wait for 2nd feb to come and i'll leave singapore knowing that my so-called friends are really having a good time without me. fine.. i dont want to say i'm desperate but to hold me with such little regard.. its ok.. i'm not hurt.. i am not disappointed. i dont want to be.. its not that big a deal. now i know where i stand in the friendship. now i know.. to think i could really rely on such bonds!! what a fool i am!!! and forever will be. why am i the only who's always left out?? funny eh?! nvm..

2006-01-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

i have not been utilizing my brain much. but its ok. it wasn't really in top form all these years.

you there's this serial show on Channel U every saturday from 9-11pm, well it finished. sad. actually there's no reason for me to blog because nothing has happened!!! i didnt fall down, no mishap, nothing.. boring...

2006-01-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

i am trying out this new skin but its not working out very well.. somebody help

2006-01-04T05:12:00.000-08:00

bored bored bored bored bored

i'm listening to All Star the perfect song my my ^#%&$* mood.. what mood is that??!! you dont wana know...

dgas;fheprhgpeohga hphgkjgn;arhga gakg; voHWKETGWPHGAGBSBN;;fgn;sdgg gkag;ahg;ajkgn;agwetjkwgna gv;hf'WEOIYTGGHFMN B.KSH FAFNkl'fjg;jg;rgh;arghahga;gh agh;argh'arghwlkejhroQIWJRSDGBISIHDFELAHF;AWHG;AWOEIHEHF;Ihd;gkhrg;ha;rlkdgh;skdlkjDLJKFG'SELKNGDFLlfnkd
dfghdfgdlfkjgizdjrtlgkyjdlkghd'lfjb df gdfkghdfl gdf gdfljghd'fg df df dih gzlkhg'zsijg'ej 'l KSND gsg sd gihsg' oirht'irjhgta'rutgpoijg'LSjeg[we'oiht'awepituh'aerpojtg sg seog azseigh;argh;'oisdyhgosdhyglw4h6o56 gs'dhg s gsidhfg" eWKHTA'WEOITH

2006-01-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

i shld start a club for those ppl who dont have sch this season.. i shld really. its boring at home. BE THANKFUL YOU HAVE SCHOOL. if not you'll rot at home doing nothing and fantasize abt things that cant exist!!

so what i said abt studying me thinks is BS.. i dont know.. its just sian somehow.. nobody to study with.. no goal to study for. i dont even know what's my syllabus.. its like totally lost!!! and my dad is pushing me to study all over... i dont know, i like to study minimal so that i dont have the habit of not listening in class later..

i'm still not fully recovered.. i'm really rotting..

2006-01-03T07:37:00.000-08:00

Well today is the first day of school for the ppl who are not migrating. hahaha... seriously please dont be jealous that i can wake up anytime i want and do whatever i want to.. its a lie!!! i have to study, do the laundry, clean my room, pack my things and plan my next step for preparation.. i am busy busy.. unduly stressed by trying to anticipate life in Aust. So i am in the same plight as you are just that i dont have to report to school..... yeehaa!!!

My dad is going to China for another field trip organised by his company. hahaha.. field trip.. he's going guess where??!!! Beijing!!! and he wont take me cos he say too cold.. I on the other hand am begging to go to badly bcos i want to SHOP!!!!! YOU MUST BE INSANE TO MISS THE LUNAR NEW YEAR SALE!!! WITH ALL THE IMITATION GOODS!!!! INSANE!!!!! INSANE I REPEAT!!! INSANE!!!!!!!

QUIET..

aiya nvm la... NVM.. *in great denial* nvm..

i just dled happy tree friends into my ipod,, hahahaha.. i am a thru and thru saddist... hahahaha... okok.. i'm actually killing time while waiting for the other podcasts to faster faster dl. faster faster...

okok nothing to say.. just wishing all you schoolers a happy orientation no matter how bored you are. you can always try to flick dirt into the hair of the person sitting in front of you or try playing the game "penise"... hahahaha...

2006-01-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

This conversation just happened not too long ago.. it goes to show that 17 year olds and 18 year olds still are very childish, and still can devise such classic pranks..

I'm the invisible man says:
u crashin any jc?

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
shld I?

I'm the invisible man says:
hmm... why not?

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
crash where??

I'm the invisible man says:
u've got nuttin panned for jan rite? all the JC

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
studying and packing and shopping i think

I'm the invisible man says:
lol
I'm the invisible man says:
ok

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
i crash yours then i'll embarrass you

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
ahh.. that's a good idea

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
i'll stick to you like super glue pant after you like a puppy

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
make you so embarrassed you never want to go to sch again

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
as for me it wont even matter

I'm the invisible man says:
lol
I'm the invisible man says:
tell me when u crashin

I'm the invisible man says:
i'll be wearin super thick specs comb my hair sideways and wear my pants extremely high

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
hahahaha no use i'll still regconise you

I'm the invisible man says:
haha
I'm the invisible man says:
den i'll be the one chasin u

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
chase la we two will act like idiots in the school

2nd FEB 2006, 2110, Terminal 1, departure to Brisbane says:
then the sch will throw us out and we'll have a free day

I'm the invisible man says:
hahaha

2005-12-31T08:35:00.000-08:00

File: Murder Homicide

Details of the Victim:

Name: Unidentified
Gender: Unidentified
Age: Unidentified
Height: 4cm
Weight: 3 grammes

Crime Scene: Dairy Farm Est (Living Room)
Date (when the body was found): 01 Jan 2006

Autopsy Results (by Dr Fletcher Chan):

Victim was found curled up, lying on its back, probably dead for only about an hour.
Hardly any signs of decay yet.
All 6 limbs were broken to every bone.
Victim suffered a disjointed spine, a smashed rib cage and multiple fractures in the skull.
Victim's heart ceased activity due to the large impact of the murder weapon causing instantaneous death.
No visible wounds of a sharp object.
No toxin found within the system.
Cause of death was obviously from sheer impact of a great force.

Notes from Detective Nahc:

At 0130, call received from the station notifying me of a new case.
By 0145, I reached the location of crime scene- Dairy Farm Est
Victim was found in a terrible state- like broken biscuits
There was a pool of "blood" surrounding the corpse.
Murder weapon was found lying near the body.
No traces of the murderer left behind.
No identity found on the victim, hence motive behind murder is unclear.

Lab Results:

Murder Weapon: Bedroom Slipper
DNA found on the slipper matched the one of the victim.
Likely time of death: 0013-0015
No fingerprints found on the slipper

Conclusion:

Victim died from the force of the bedroom slipper. Muderer was never found. The death of the bee was the first murder commited in 2006 in the household of the Chans which were trialed but never convicted for causing the death of the bee which annoyed them, distracting them from the television. Court classified the case as self-defense.

2005-12-31T03:15:00.000-08:00

Its official, i"m sick sick sick.. I have a nose which is clogged up and runny and the same time. I breathe thru my mouth and i think i look like a retard walking everywhere with an open mouth.. *Darth Veda's heavy breathing*

It's New Year's Eve. Happy New Year everyone. Don't drink and drive nor drive and look into the sky admiring the fireworks display. Have fun and make good use of 2006 to do the things u've always wanted to achieve. No regrets this year., i think...

2005-12-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

Reports from Jia Hui's house:

So this is it. Geylang Mania which i have been looking forward too but sadly it has been disappointing. I actually really looked extremely forward to see and experience the night life not of the city buzz of midnight shopping, instead the the night life of sleaze, lust, alcohol and most of all, the GOOD food!! I mean give Geylang the thumbs up for its award-winning dishes which makes me really drool NOW.. But Jia refuses to bring me out for supper!!!

I walked the streets at the 9th hour of the dark and to my utmost disappointment, the women and men hid themselves, unwilling to give me a sneak preview of i imagined Geylang to be.. I found no old men who think their brothers are still capable of being the legend in their younger days, nor women who regardless of their size, age, or perhaps even confused gender, dressed for "business", standing around o to be even seen!!!

Jia said they might even hide under the trees, ha! Hide-and-seek!! Dont have lor..

Let me warn you that i am not perverse nor sick, i just want a good and clean and innocent experience of what Geylang in the red light district area is before i leave for Australia. But things just dont go quite simply your way all the time.

I'm falling ill now, my nose!! oh my nose.. Hardcore shopping indeed take the toll on my health. After bio tuition at Jia's place, I AM RESTING!!! hahaha.. i've BEEN resting.. liar!!

2005-12-27T23:48:00.000-08:00

I'm a yellow according to Tickle's test..

so, its past Christmas, coming New Year. I bought 2 pairs of jeans and plan to wear one of them for CNY.. which then reminds me that i'm leaving for Brisbane on the 2nd Feb, departing at 2110 from Terminal 1. want to send me off???

lalala.. while most of my friends are back to school this coming 3 Jan, i'll also be studying together with you though i'm not a school yet. i'll be studying Bio and i'm really tired of being reminded of it.....

i'm gg to jia's place tmr for tuition and no sadly she's not paid... so will maybe leak out some thing we gossip abt... hahaha

2005-12-27T03:32:00.000-08:00

Though Singapore Youth For Christ meant The screening of Narnia today at Prince Theatre(Shaw Tower) as an Evnagelical Outreach, *try saying that in one breath* i seriously doubt many non-believers can identify with the hidden basic storyline adapted from the Bible. As i was walking out of the cinema, i heard feedback like "its so boring, i fell asleep." Well i wonder how could you fall asleep amidst all the roaring and screaming during the War part..

TALKING ABT THAT!!! I AM SO DARN PISSED AT THE STUPID SOUND SYSTEM.. @$&^# THAT STUPID STEREO WOULD SUDDENLY MUFFLE ITS SOUND AT THE CRUCIAL MOMENTS OF SPEECH OR SOUND EFFECTS!!! ARGH!! WHAT WAS WRONG??!!! IMPRESSIVE PICTURE BUT REALLY SCREWED UP SOUND, IF I COME TO KNOW WHO WAS HANDLING THE SOUND OR THE TAPE OR THAT PARTICULAR PART OF MALFUNCTION, I'LL EAT YOU!!! i swear, the way Aslan ate the Witch.

i really enjoyed the show to the max, some parts made me cry and some parts really made me laugh. C.S Lewis wrote a simple story reflecting so much of the Gospel. Edmund, reminded me of Judas Iscariot, who betrayed his siblings time and time again. The sacrifice of the lion was like Jesus offering Himself on the cross so that our sins may be cleansed. and when the stone table split apart, it was like the curtains of the temple which ripped apart as well so that Man no longer needed to go God in traditional methods of sacrifice instead have a personal relationship with Him.

I read reviews on the show and many have said that it was a family entertainer that's because they cannot identify with the truth which lies behind this "fantasy". oh well, critics always struggle to give thumbs-up easily.

After a good movie, it is always accompanied by good sustenance more like gluttony.. we stuffed ourselves silly with Sashimi, steak, seafood, and more seafood, and aiya a lot of seafood which i llllooovvvveee... YAY-ness.. but it was absolutely treacherously Sinful but how often do you eat yourself silly with fish crab prawns and oysters??!!! *smacks lips*

till some other feast..

2005-12-25T01:18:00.000-08:00

It's kinda pathetic spending Christmas at home with nothing to do except for the TV.. buzz buzz..

Let's see nothing has been done this Christmas.. how fun!! My Christmas gifts are what i always want cos i specifically ask for them from my relatives bcos its a tradition to bring us out to buy something we like, like for this instance, i got my hairdo, my ipod nano, and coming up my Levi's Jeans, and more accessories, and of course the useless photo frame which i didnt ask for anyway, bcos i didnt tell my dad's friend what i wanted bcos it wldnt be nice at all bcos it was unexpected anyway, bcos we went to my dad's friend church service last minute bcos i had to pester my dad and keep asking where were we going for Christmas or else he won't really tell me anything, bcos he's so unduly stressed out by his office party which in my opinion needs a lot of effort but its not THAT taxing isnt it, bcos the party is only for a few hours and that's it, bcos bcos bcos...

argh, when is Santa coming so that he'll whisk me away in the blistering hot Singapore sky to heaven to say hi to many friends up there???

THIS IS BORING!!!! BORING-EST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!

2005-12-21T22:22:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Wanna know why i'm laughing so hard??
U really wanna know??
Sure??
ok..

I JUST RECEIVED MY IPOD NANO!!

rob me la..

so how does it feel to hold a device so slim and sleek u've been craving for for months..

*flips thesarus* *flips dictionary* *flips brain*

exhilarating.. what?? SHIOK... what?? fantanstic Kinda high now..

So, check it out man!! hahaha..
OK, thank you dad!! but the funniest thing was last night when he brought it back it was super anti-climax.. seriously i tried to conceal my bursting excitement and Hollywood you better hire me as an actress.. i didnt even slip a smile onto my face when he was around me. So he bought me rice and just PLOPPED the boxes on the table like that (splat).. i was like ok.. where's the big *tang tang tang tang*?? none, he just put it on the DINING table and walked back to his room..

Aiya.. no fun.. but nvm i got the good.. and its really ....... small and light... i dont know, that's entirely it right?? hahahaha.. i'm floating..

2005-12-21T00:22:00.000-08:00

THIS GOES TO MY MY DAD!!

I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU MAD
I'M SORRY FOR MY INSOLENCE
I'M SORRY FOR HOLDING GRUDGES
I'M SORRY FOR CUTTING YOUR HEART WITH A KNIFE OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'M SORRY FOR BEING FOOLISH
I'M SORRY FOR MY DISAPPOINTING AND DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR
I'M SORRY FOR BEING UNABLE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS I'M CAPABLE OF
I'M SORRY FOR TURNING AWAY FROM YOU AT TIMES
I'M SORRY FOR NOT BEING SENSITIVE ENOUGH AT TIMES
I'M SORRY FOR ALL MY SILLY MISTAKES
I'M SORRY FOR ALL THE TIMES WE QUARELLED
I'M SORRY FOR BEING MESSY
I'M SORRY FOR BEING IMPATIENT
I'M SORRY FOR BEING UNTEACHABLE
I'M SORRY FOR NOT LISTENING TO YOUR ADVICE
I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO NOISY
I'M SORRY FOR ON THE WHOLE FOR EVERYTHING I DIDNT DO RIGHT OR SAY RIGHT. I'M SORRY..

to daddy,
i love you and will always love you.

THANK YOU FOR SITTING SILENTLY IN YOUR ROOM
THANK YOU FOR LETTING YOUR PRESCENCE BE KNOWN
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THE GUITAR
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME MATH
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME PHYSICS
THANK YOU FOR GUIDING ME IN THE RIGHT PATH
THANK YOU FOR IMPARTING MORALS AND VALUES
THNAK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SILLY JOKES
THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME LAUGH
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING WITH ME
THANK YOU FOR BUYING ME THINGS
THANK YOU FOR BEING MORE THAN JUST A FATHER BUT A FRIEND
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME OUT TO EXPERIENCE THE WORLD
THANK YOU FOR SACRIFICING YOUR TIME FOR ME
THANK YOU FOR BEING STRICT WITH ME
THANK YOU FOR DRIVING ME AROUND
THANK YOU FOR NAGGING AT ME TO CLEAR MY DESK
THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME ALL THE TIME
AND THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BEST DAD!

to daddy,
i love you and will always love you,
with the years ahead together or alone,
i will think of you and mum daily.

love,
sharon

2005-12-20T23:56:00.002-08:00

a list of dos and don'ts while shopping for Christmas gifts:

Never walk beside a fat Ang Moh, cos they'll bump you out of their way
wear discreet shoes
make sure you go with cash and not just on a card alone
Don't buy 3 for $18 gifts from Watsons, everyone would know where you get them from
Don't visit Red Earth at Wisma unless you're up for a fit of laughter

List of appropiate things to buy for anyone:

Branded surf t-shirts, not those from Gio *cheapskate!*
little pouches
diaries/journals
infamous overwhelming chocolates
CD albums
perfume
little accessories
etc...

List of things not so appropiate to buy for anyone:

deodourant *unless you're asked to buy*
Bak Kwa *goodness, its Christmas!*
Xando tablets
photo albums *for what?*
candle stick holders
photo frames*unless you do smth to it to make it more meaningful*
and other useless things..

So for the Christmas, thought its spent with one less person, its ok. thought this fact will always tweak tears out from my heart. have a blessed Christmas everyone.

2005-12-20T23:56:00.001-08:00

Actual Court Transcripts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? _____________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? ______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time? ______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes. Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

2005-12-20T23:56:00.000-08:00

Actual Court Transcripts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. ______________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? A: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? _____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? ______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? ______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? ______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? ______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. ______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ______________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

2005-12-19T23:02:00.000-08:00

how i wish i could surrender my soul
shed the clothes that become my skin
see the liar that burns within my needing
how i wish i had chosen darkness from cold
how i wish i could scream out loud instead ive found no meaning

i guess its time i run far, far away. find comfort in pain
Call pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
hides my true shape, like dorian gray
i heard what they say, but im not here for trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

how i wish i could walk through the doors of my mind
hold memory close at hand, help me understand the years
how i wish i could choose between heaven and hell
how i wish i could save my soul, im so cold from fear

i guess its time i run far, far away. find comfort in pain
Call pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
hides my true shape, like dorian gray
i heard what they say, but im not here for trouble
far far away, find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

far far away, find comfort in pain
all pleasures the same it just keeps me from trouble
its more than just words, its just tears and rain

2005-12-19T04:36:00.000-08:00

i just came back from my cousins' place after two nights. it was fun but at the same time, the kids weren't exactly clambering all over me but their voices sure were clambering within my ears.

anw, when i got home, i went to the minimart to get eats (a new word, i learnt from Qin Chuan who missed out "tr" in "treat"). i walked past the pool and for a moment, the pool i use to scoff at looked really wonderous and enticing. it was inviting! i tried to push myself into the pool with my clothes and all but i wasnt really that crazy. if i splashed abt in the pool i wld just sleep there enjoying the lazy Monday sun warming the waters. Besides the pool was empty, no one was there!!! absolutely none!!

ahh.. nvm la. it'll be so messy, i'll have to freeze later when walking back up to my home.

OK, here's a list of movies i want to watch..

The Promise
Perhaps Love
Narnia
History of Violence

yup..i think there's more but i cant rmb. and i've yet to taste the Christmas Season sales.. dont laugh. for a shop-shop-go-mad girl its embarrassing to confess it somemore on the net. hahahaha... anw, its not that bad, i'll wait for after Christmas before CNY period which is NEW YEAR!!! yay!!! NEW YEAR!!!

its fast isnt it. one year and one year simply just flip past your eyes and you're older again. hai.. aiya, be happy, another day of redemption! i dont know why, but the days are like redemption counters. i've yet to figure out why i think this way. when i come up with a smarter reason, i'll tell.. right now, its a halp revealed secret.

2005-12-17T01:45:00.000-08:00

fighting with ppl makes up a huge part of life. physical fights or fiery verbal spits at each other, every fight someone gets hurt. maybe i'm depressed, maybe i need counselling, bcos at the back of my mind i am really seriously contemplating sucide.

anw, i've got another secret ambition i wana expose to the world. ppl would know by now that i am obsessed with shoes. i go mad in a shopping centre filled with shoes fom top to bottom. however, i cannot draw shoes, i cannot imagine a dream design for my first pair of expensive shoes i intend to splurge on using my first paycheque. uncannily, i tend to have clothes of elegance sketched out in my mind. i just lay on my bed, staring past the dark and suddenly a couple of designs of dresses just popped into the blankness of it all. so maybe the use of Spanish would be used in the fashion business in Latin America. haha.. i really dont know. who knows what the future holds?

anw, only abt one and a half months left before i fly off. i havent really packed anything except cleared a lot of papers today. all the exam papers and notes are finally sorted out but not filed. haha.. good luck to my cousins finding the specific topic. sorry man, i simply cannot sit down and file 100 odd sheets of paper for 9 different subjects. perhaps a year later.. hahaha..

2005-12-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

OK, i finally thought of something to write. i was watching TV and it was the trailer for the biggest loser. then Maurice the fattest guy said something like" i could smell the money and it was low carb." then suddenly it jolted my memory.

there were these two girls in Primary school. two of them dont know whether to call them best friends but they were good friends. i know the both of them the way i shldnt. As in, it was animosity. So, it was one of the usual recesses, and i was standing in the queue waiting for my turn. YES, i used to queue up for my food. used to. and then the two of them were beside me in at the next section of the stall. it was the huge drink stall which sold almost everything. i went to buy otah. and then the two of them were deciding what to eat, hogging the queue. one of them asked " erm.. should i eat the cheese bread or not eat something else* i dont rmb the other choice she mentioned*" the other replied" well, if you wanns pile on a few carbs go ahead and cheesebread, if not take the other. i'm not eating!"

As an innocent 12 year old kid, what did i know abt carbs and calories??!!! i didnt ask them anw, and just walked off. however this scene has always been at the back of my mind for some uncanny reason, and when i grew older, i realised how some girls may mature so much faster then the rest?? to me, if you starve yourself to achieve something superficial, its utterly ridiculous. mind you, the two girls were quite ok, but nothing flattering. what do you expect, we were 12!!

Then i also remembered that when i was in lower primary, i think its P2, i was sitting at the edge of the table where a few P6s were gossiping. i was waiting for my mom so i just obliviously plopped myself in the middle of a big girl conversation. suddenly, one of them asked " where's so and so?" "Oh she's crying at the phonebooth, she just broke up with her boyfriend." i was like "err.." Seriously, you are 12, what do you know abt the world? Well you know that the world operates on a system where you needed to be thin and mature fast and be ready for love.

Right, and many of us are foolish enough to give up the priviledge and the emotions which belong to that special someone later on in life.

Love aside, but talking abt love, reminds me of MY MR. DARCY!! if the modern world still harbours such undiscovered gentlemen, and not the usual bad boy appeal, love is than like a classical piece of music that plays on forever.

2005-12-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

i realise that i have ceased to used that jelly wobbly hemisphere shelled by my skull. It is only exercised to the minimum.

Today, nothing spectacular, at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, it is exceptionally hot!! The sun is blazing into the room, somewhat similar to the music blaring from my comp. when you're this bored, i think i might start to go into that mode where you think you're lost in your mind, secluded in your inner soul, but its just plain madness.

everywhere is having huge Christmas Sales, and what am i doing? sitting at home, watching Teen Titans. cash strapped and chair bound.

2005-12-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

its wednesday today and i caught who won the Amazing Race Family Edition this morning. ARGH!!! i just feel really pissed off with the Weavers, they didnt push hard enough when they were looking for the clue box in the Stade Olympique. oh nvm, i'm not the one playing.

i thought abt it, if ever my dad and I played any reality show together, we most probably be the first to be ousted. haha.. mean? i dont thnk so, even he agrees.

i have a thousand and one things to pack for Australia. i'm bringing all my clothes, SHOES, books, CDs, guitar, laptop and my stuffed toys. i think i'll cry when my dad throws away all my toys. i love my toys as they were pretty much my companions when i was a kid. i never talked to them like telling them what happened in the day, rather in my heart i convey many messages to them. they each hold a secret of my life. when they are thrown away, a part of me will be burnt. goodbye to my past life! ...

2005-12-13T05:19:00.000-08:00

blogga blogga blogga... its official. i'm leaving Singapore on the 2nd Feb 2006. Departing at 2110, so i'll have to check in during dinner time. hahaha. i cant wait to be quite honest. but then again, i'llmiss ppl. but its more of looking forward than i miss you.

so if you guys wanna come and send me off, please dont bring like presents or boxes of whatever. i dont have the hands and i wld appreciate better letters of well-wishes and love gifts of financial blessings wrapped in red and gold paper. hahahah.. well, moreover, pray for a safe journey and also for strength to help thru the years ahead in new land. Pray for me!!!!

2005-12-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

why be in love when there's no one to love?? I watched Pride and Prejudice. oh my oh my!!! i'm in love with Mr Darcy!!! i want to be Mrs Darcy as well. ahh.. absolutely a heartwarming show with lots of hilarious of scenes contributed by a family made up by a father who seems to be half sleeping most of the time, a mother who is undenialbly "amiable", and five unique girls with talent beyond comprehension. And most of all, Mr Darcy with his sidekick, Mr (i dont know how to spell his name) Binglee?? absolutely fantastic!!!

2005-12-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

i just discovered the best way for and quick and easy excretion.. hahahhaa.. i'm serious. eat lots of dried apricots, say abt minimum 15. in abt 30 minutes, i swear you will rush for the toilet. and boy do you feel much better. well it works for me.

its a hot day as usual and the sky is azul (blue in spanish). hahahaha... then what rojo(red)?? okok.. but it reminds me of my younger days when i wasnt as free as now but things felt much lighter then.

Growing up is so tough. i find it so. i want to go back to the past but i know if i had remained in the past i would have miss many pleasant opportunities. countless experiences that only i and the ppl in it will cherish the feelings we all share alike. many dreams and aspirations have yet to be achieved in my short life time. i confess i'm not a usual person. someone very difficult to understand and to accomodate. even i myself realise it. and i wont change unless neccessary.

so even if i do find my friend i know it wouldn't be in Singapore. bcos if it were, God might not have directed us away from our homeland.

to me, friendship is the result of deacades and centuries of god knows what we go through and emerge at the top holding hands and not let go once. and i know i have let go a few hands and allowed us to fall from the heights we scaled together as friends. i dont regret it and i will never regret it. not only is it easier to let Singapore go but i know such friendships would never have lasted and isnt it better to break it before we cling to each other by only a finger and wont it be more painful then? so when i leave finally to Oz, i wont look back anymore. i will be back to visit but please understand that i need a clean break from my pain and dont ask me ever if i wld consider a job back here in Singapore. most prbly the relationships forged here will be statues of memories we all share. and when you fly all over the world, you might just see me roaming the streets across wherever you're standing. and if you decide to call out my name, just make sure you'll treat me to tea.. haha..

2005-12-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

Across the Causeway.
Crossing the the causeway to Malaysia via bus is an experience to either be relived or shelved into another slot of memory space.Like any other trip, waiting is the bulk of travelling. Upon departure at the Singapore Immigration Centre, we witnessed two ladies handcuffed and escorted by the police to the detention room.I couldn't really care less of they crime commited, but my aunt was rather desperate to know what law they broke. They weren't local, so either they had identification descrepancies or smuggling goods as they were lugging huge harvest sacks.We queued the longest at the Malaysian Immigration Centre and my feet decided to make the wait torturous. Finally, the human chain dispersed into various directions and we made our way to City Square.Crossing the big and heavy road full of vehicles which just entered Malaysia, was something never to be forgotten. It reminds me of either the fearless spirit of human nature, or the stupidity of risks needless to be taken at any cost.Cars and man together as one but in different directions made their way past the bottleneck area.Eventually we touched down at our final and one destination. Shopping, eating and the hair was the main things we did. i got my hair dyed to a shade or gold copper.Malaysia really offers good bargains, the variety is there, but its all so common. Things sold there are most likely to be found in the other half of the world.Nothing spectacular really caught my eye. I think i should fly over to KL where fashion might please my higher expectations. hahaha..The overall experience to Malaysia was rather fun and rendered me speechless at times. Perhaps i might consider testing my stress limits again and it might just turn out better.OH YEAH, i forgot to eat the Ramly burger!!! darn!

2005-12-04T05:56:00.000-08:00

well i'm learining spanish yeah, and its a MOUTHFUL!!!! all the 'R's have to be pronounced.. if i had a beijing qiang it wld to easier to curl the tongue.

i'm going to get my ipod nano soon.. hahaha.. man i'm totally psyched for it!!! NANO!!!!!

i've some terrible news. other than a 4000-word essay on the Theory of Knowledge, i have i think 2 English(lit) and Geog assignments, both needs a mininmum of 1500 words. i wish it was ten times less.. (groans)

oh fine, enough abt that. its not that scary la. (another severe case of denial)

now, i have another problem. you see after being attacked by the scissors of PUNK, my hair is suppose to stand and be spiked up. apparently its falling flat, and i look riduculously dumb.. i need to get some freeze thingy.. so tmr, i'll colour my hair in msia and at the same time purchase some other hair products. oh so much to do to keep up with the image. SHAVE BALD!!! skin head.. yee..

ok till another time, when i've got more things to say..

2005-12-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

I just read aloud my previous post to my dad, not the one which exposes me, the one before that. and guess what he said.. well-written!!! hahaha.. hardly do i get praised for my english works from my dad. yay or not, i think he's just saying something cos i'm distracting him from his papers.

well, i forgot to mention in the previous post of the introduction of next year's syllabus that i have a huge assignment. i have to write a 4000-word essay in 18 months. erm not 18 free months, rather 18 months of juggling school work and a 4000-word essay. i wanted to write abt the Bolshevik Revolution since i've done the project in History before, but my dad suggested the Tourist Industry of Singapore. woo-hoo.. so i have to find out what exactly Singapore was like. all i know that Singapore was a entreport and trading activities were ermm.. active?? yeah, so then it starts..

well, its a hot saturday. did i tell you that every saturday i go to queenstown lib to study. During the prep period for O's i was looking forward to study there!! quite mad, i know. Now i dont know what to do. oh dad suggested a marvellous idea, study BIO!!!!!! i'll strangle him!!! *throws hands in the air* when mum was around we used to go shopping. now that i've shoped enough i wont want to squeeze with crowd which will make me boiling mad!!! still what shld i do?? hmm.. a tough question whenever one is totally clueless!!! yay..

2005-12-02T05:41:00.000-08:00

Rules of the game:1. post 5 weird/random stuff abt yourself2. at the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want nextto this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in theirblogs and tell them to read your blog for rules!

i hate the dogs in my estate (if you reckon them weird)
i have a huge dilema with my butt, whether to love my body or resize it.
ah! (its suppose to be random)
i always wonder what's the fastest way to die feeling minimal pain.
i like animals but am nervous ard them.

i dont wish to tag anyone else, cos i'm too lazy to do so

2005-12-02T05:07:00.000-08:00

this is way horrible. i think my internet connection is acting up again and is all out to annoy me big time!!!!

technology aside, i'm going to msia this mon. it would be my first time ........ taking public transport across the causeway. either that experience will render me helpless because i'm always pampered by the comfort of personal "buses" with smaller wheels or it will be tremendously fun.. then again, how much fun can you get by sitting the bus?? Loads!!! i bet i'll meet another cranky old lady who will yell at me because i talk too loud, laugh too much or hit the back of the seat. then i'll be named dirty. did i tell you abt the freaking experience with the horrible hag that called me dirty??!!!

or perhaps meet a girl who would yell "cockroach" and i'll come running down the aisle and stomp my foot upon the creature of filth. take your pick. both are terrible arent they? well this is just it when it comes to buses and sharon and the people taking the same ride without sharin the same rides of embarrassment.

i was studying bio just now and it was the ecology topic. man, now i realise how warped our primary and lower secondary science textbooks are!!! if i rmb correctly the humps of the camels stored water, as taught in primary 4 or something. apparently, they're fats!!! right fatty camel. the polar bear has small ears to reduce heat loss. right??!! and next i'll learn plants photosynthesize in the dark as well, tho there are plants known to release oxygen in the evening or sorts..

science is warped. i think. that's why i do badly in it. see its not my fault that i cant score. hahhhaahah.. rubbish...

well what do you say.

i was also reading 1984 and Huckleberry Finn. these old books shld be our english textbooks. i'm serious. they'll seriously teach you how to string a decent and strong sentence. tho HF uses the drawl of the uneducated American. He cant spell. These books shld be taught to us the basics of GOOD english. throw out the books which give you measley information of what they passages, or the art of appreciation boring Mei Ling and Mary stories. if kids were taught english without the confusion of nouns and verbs (the way i was last time) and taking english as a whole. the other details will fit in naturally. well, that's my opinion. call it shallow or something, but i always enjoy reading books of vivid description which makes the story come alive. than reading how uncle Ali taught Ahmad how to play chaptek.

hahaha.. boy i think i'm suffering within that mind of mine. i havent been exercising it much and i suddenly feel like doing amath problems. sheesh.. look at what O's has done to me? mortified?? i dont know. its a new syndrome that science will eventually discover or is it a mystery to uncover. whichever cover, i hope i will still harbour this eagerness to study next year. i will really need it.

2005-11-30T07:20:00.000-08:00

i've gone out three days consecutively and my feet feel like they can drop off any minute. i watched chicken little today, and i wldnt really recommend it. to a certain extend it didnt make much sense. its funny but not what i really expected. chicken little indeed saved the day but it weirdest way.

2005-11-29T05:27:00.000-08:00

this is so bizarre. i thought i was resolute to give prom a miss since i didnt spend the neccessary time and money anyway. there were many pretty dresses in Aus and i cldnt help feeling the least bit regretful that i didnt sign up for prom. but i always quickly consoled myself saying that prom was really nothing. what rubbish!!! it meant quite everything to my senior year!!! but i faced reality and gave up hope.

tell me miracles happen and i believe!!! so monday came, while st margs girls were busy doing last minute touch-ups, fussing their hair and primming clean, i however on the other hand went to Paragon for lunch, then proceeded to Wisma Isetan to buy bottoms for sch next year. (and i bought two lovely skirts!!!) trotting along, i went to Plaza Sing for my hair cut at Hair Mechanics (everyone go there!!!) and came out with a punk attack!! and then so everything was done, did the stuff i wanted to do for the day.

sashayed down the shops of meridien and found a pair of beautiful glistening white shoes for freaking 25 bucks!!!! so here goes my hours before prom ladida-ing around. of course i wanted to go but as a guest or a photographer... but guess what.. all thanks to aunty choy kum she just pushed me to get a dress and i got one and crashed prom all in a matter of ONE HOUR BEFORE PROM!!!!! hahahah.. i laugh my head off till now..

i love my life when its this crazy!!!

2005-11-29T05:19:00.000-08:00

A TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon imagescalled 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, andmilk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre. Then midway through, you raised the price to RM 0.60 per litre or you cut thesupply.The buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20. The buyer decides that you can keep the milk and they go lookfor milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead. Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.........One cow-pehand one cow-bu

2005-11-25T19:32:00.000-08:00

my last day in Brisbane and i finally wrote something.. everyone be jealous of me. i've enrolled myself into a public school which doenst require a uniform!!!! i am taking the IB course and am studying:

English (with Lit.)
Spanish
Math
Bio (out goes physics)
Geography
Theatre Arts

hahaha.. theatre arts!! can you believe it??!!! i'll die for such education!!! so this holiday i'll need to revvise a little Bio and seek help in Lit. not that bad.. i'm learning SPANISH!!! finally another language in a full course. no longer just learning bits and pieces of whatever spare language lying around.. hahha... i'll tell you more stories when i get bak. and yes, Australia has some really good-looking PPL in general.

2005-11-18T07:28:00.000-08:00

i'm writing from the sirport and the keyboard sucks big time. its so stiff. i'm flying to Brisbane. envy me yes i know, i fly on the day i finish my exams. ha. but still despite my position of such a good life, i try to oversome my fears of a plane. call me paranoid but i always think the plane is going to crash cos of all those silly terrorists that threaten our well-deserved peace... anw, i have to leave, will update again when i get my hands on a good computer.

2005-11-11T04:43:00.000-08:00

ok i just received this e-mails abt cows. ands it super funny. i thought i might just leave one section of this e-mail each time i blog. in frequent yes lose the punch line perhaps. but its really funny.

i am resolved not to dwell on my very present issue taking my life by storm. though sometimes its the only thing to talk abt now. yet it stings and bites. i guess it can be only explained best my insecurities in my studies and....

i have this headache now a days. it hurts real bad sometimes. it comes and goes at anytime of the day. yes a very good reflector of my emotions. i cried my eyeballs today. my paper yes, my loneliness yes. i have just realised how much i really miss my mum. though i say it so easily that i miss her, i never really experience the pangs of it until today. then i realise that i am so fragile and insignificant without her. for ppl who read this blog, i dont need sympathy unless you mean it. i hate ppl who "i'm sorry" and shit when i know they bloody dont mean any of it. if its for the sake of formality, i rather you shove it back into that creepy mouth of yours.

i always wonder what i wld do in life. i dont know. i've considered a few courses i intend to graduate from. i dont know if i'm really cut out for being an advertiser. i want to take part in the creation of campaigns and TV ads. then i stop short in fantasies and burst my own bubble asking myself truely is that what i really want to be. then i considered event organising. and finally a talk show host. but when such plans for the future bombard me, i collapse into a heap. at 16 are we to think of so much? are we to be burdened by the uncertaintt of the future. for those who have earned their places in higher levels of academies, congratulations. as for me, i'm tired. i'm tired of living.. i wish to die? you cld say, then wake up from death and continue living life rejuvenated. but can i die and continue to live on when i decide to as and when i want?

or am i just a lazy person? i think i am.

Cows galore for the day

A TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

to be continued...

2005-11-07T21:53:00.000-08:00

Lately, i've been suffering from relaspses of my ugly past and i don't wish to dwell on them online.

Well, today i write to touch on an issue of grave importance. the dogs in my estate. Yes dairy farm est!!!!!!!! the dogs in the east gate corner, keep your damn snouts shut!!!! stop moaning, jolting ppl from their sleeps in the middle of the night with your sharp and unneccessary barks.. after this o'levels the next noisy dog i hear, i'll hunt you down and gut your tongue!!!!!! vi am bloody pissed off with you. and owners either you take some responsibility or the responsibility will handled in the hands of the law!!!!!!! stupid dog. moaning and moaning!!!

not only do i complain, others have been irritated too. can u imagine, here you are doing smth and then this mutt distracts you by its moaning. aaaaooooowwwwwoooaaaaa.... i'll kill the damn mutt!!!! i think its a hound. it sounds like a hound. ppl suggest if you have dogs who tend to be talkative or gets bored easily, shift out of condos and flats. houses on plots of big land will be more suitable. the dog is more occupied. ppl have PEACE!!!!!!! PEACE!!! all i'm askin!!!!

2005-11-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

i'm still having the *toot* ulcer.. but its very much smaller now. i believe in natural healing.. hahaha.. i never took a pill for manses crams or creams for ulcer. rub salt onto the wound. i'm a pain warrior!! hahaha.. lame

anyway, its just next week.. next week!!! cool, it'll take two weeks to be completed and three long months before it executes me.

2005-11-01T00:47:00.000-08:00

unfair unfair unfair!!!! i have an ulcer and my dad has a new handphone!!! yes a bloody new sleek samsung D500C. well, for the benefit of those who do not follow the "market" (which to me consists of handphones and MP3s) it is an award-winning phone. (actually i didnt know until 2 days ago)

it features:

1.3 megapixel camera with flash
video-recording and MMS
music player (MP3)
bluetooth/USB
e-mail
speaker phone
plug-in speaker.

Well, my Sony Ericsson T630 is more or less similar. 1.3 cam, MMS, bluetooth, e-mail. compare the differences... not very much hor.. *in denial*

the ulcer is still bothering me very much. aiya!!!! cut you away!!!

so just to announce to the world, ROB MY DAD, I'LL PAY YOU. hahahaha... NOT!! oh, i'm patiently waiting for my ipod nano!!! hahaha.. bought for me independant of my results!!! hahahah.. my source.. ssshhhh...

and yes, i'll be gg to japan in 2 years time. i'm taking 2 years to learn a third language in Australia. to my friends, i'll be leaving after CNY officially, this 18th nov, PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME OFF YET. and so i'm saving for JAPan!!! yay!! two years savings to be splurged in Japan.. drastic?? perhaps but i want to enjoy my Japan trip unrestricted by budget.. err.. i never was restricted with budget. hahaha..

my ulcer sucks!!!! i hate it!!!

2005-10-31T23:30:00.000-08:00

do you know what it feels like to have a HUGE ulcer on your lip. well first of all, it feels like there's a piece of gum stuck to your gum. (gum gum??!! hahaha get it?) then you realise that this piece of gum hurts big time and constantly annoys you. then your tongue starts to peck it and it stings. ginger'y, you try again, you withstand the pain, tears brimming this time. nevertheless, like the Adam in you grew bold, and then you torture the ulcer but instead it fights back, gnawing your lip. you bite me i bite you back, anw i'm always giving you the pain. that's how the ulcer is. a torment.

well, i went to my dad's office to study. yes its rather conducive, free from the temptations of tv and computer and the fridge and the bed and the and the and the.... so i studied there. at 4 odd i decided to take a breather before i resumed to Social Studies. so ladida i made my way down to Seiyu Bugis as it is conveniently awaiting my arrival from below (this sentence sounds weird) yeah, so i trotted off and tried on some stuff but had no money anyway. strolling and strolling, i found myself in The Body Shop. there, i lost my face totally!!!!! i was looking at some lippies. my hands were juggling with a handphone and wallet, and *squeaK* the lippy slipped from my fingers. butter!! i caught it time but i let out an awful squawk. really terrible. i attracted attention. yes i did. i didnt end there. the salesgirl approached me and asked if i needed any help. yes please find my face. its somewhere on the ground.. i tried to refuse politely but it came out like " err.. no need. i'm fine" it was like i was planning to steal the lippy. then i stared so intensively at the gloss with a thousand things whirling in my mind. i was twirling the gloss trying hard to look for something, but i didnt know what i was looking for. my eyes were glazed at the lippy. ok. nvm, the girl wldnt budge from where she was standing, and so did i cos i didnt know what in the world i was doing. trying to find my face at the back of my mind. finally the salesgirl passed me the tester. yes the tester!!! but too late, i had no intention of buying it anymore. however not wanting to lose anymore face that was already left on my head, maybe flakes of skin, i just bought a nail buffer and walked off. creeps!!

nvm, it just doesnt stop there. a string of events always follow.. which i forgot. oh yeah. then the lift. i wanted to go up and was distracted with my corrochan. i remembered seeing the gg up button go off, i entered the lift, and looked up. i saw B1 which was the level i was. suddenly, my mouth spat out " ahh! gg down??!!" the lady in front turned and said " no gg up" ok. but i was munching on the corrochan and didnt expect her to turn around and reply me. great, i looked stupid. i tried to smile and say thank you, but the only thing that came out was a blank look. for crying out loud, sharon wake up!!!! the lift reached the 1st floor and we walked out. the lady seemed startled to see me again when we boarded the same lift that served the higher floors. i quickly turned to face the front but the doors were mirrored. ahh.. shite!!!! everyone saw my distorted face.

i was wearing a winnie-the-pooh t-shirt and demin skirt. matching image!

the rest of the evening was severed by the ulcer. really. i nearly cut my lip with the scissors thinking that if i cut the ulcer out, it wld no longer hurt. i resorted to the salt treatment, tho it hurts like hell, it downsizes the ulcer effectively. ouch? DUH!!!

to all the crescent girls, how did you girls pass your a maths prelims?? it is so difficult.. thank goodness i'm not in crescent. i most prbly end up repeating and repeating and repeating...

2005-10-28T01:08:00.000-07:00

here's a joke.

have you heard of the Rapunzel story? well, there was this prince and in all his galiant might went in search for Rapunzel. finally. after battling all the fiery dragons and slayed the evil witch that held Rapunzel captive for 20 years, he called out to her where she sat there spinning gold thread all day.
"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let your hair down and allow me to behold your beauty!"

then two long locks of hair came gracefully tunbling down the fortress that held Rapunzel captive.

Eventually the prince reached the top and his eyes quivered in much aniticipation for he was very excited to behold the magnificent sight of the girl who spurred many stories of enchanment.

When he finally looked up, he had the biggest shock of his life!

RAPUNZEL WAS BALD!!!

and guess where the hair was coming from??!!!

the armpit..

2005-10-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

i puked last night. i forced it out. too full. so much for being hungry. no wonder they say gluttony is a sin. they forgot torture.

my dad's never coming back!!! it seems like he's been gone for 5 months but its only like 5 days. 300 hours. i never thought i wld miss my dad this much.

iguess there's a difference btwn staying at home and staying at a friend's place. at a friend's place, you dont feel the pinch of missing a loved one as much as you do in a place where you've shared with him or her. it feels empty. in the day perhaps not. everyone's out and busy. evenings yeah, i always anticipated the clicking of the lock. hoping that the next time the key wld insert. instead nothing. yes its lonely. i darent sleep alone. i'm still a vulnerable little girl wanting her mommy's arms strapped all over protecting her from the dark. my aunt stays with me.

now what wld two ladies do at home? nothing just a lot of talk. i've talked quite a bit with her compared to dad. dad always doesnt give an enthusuastic response whish is exasperating. MEN!

hmm.. i think i need tocreate a link for my older posts. i dont knowhow to do it though.. hahaha..

2005-10-25T02:34:00.000-07:00

ha!!! finally i reached this page!!! yah!!!

this comp net is screwed. today was chem prac day!! to all pure chem kids, it wasnt that bad after all wasnt it? no graphs hardly calculations except the basic. how bad can it get?? unless you gave nitric acid as the answer.

today, i went to subway at holland after prac. after waiting for four tormenting hours. with gastric juices gnawing my stomach, i cld finally sink my soul into food glorious food. i had roast beef. i wanted to make it a footlong sub but decided to reserve more space for other delights. however to my BIG disappointment i was deprived and derranged!!!!!! i didnt even get to smell the shop. i was disallowed a steaming hot, perfection of spice and flavour, bowl of laksa!!! argh!@!!!! hungry!!! ahh!!!!

scream hungry!!!

nvm la, later i bought dim sum from crystal jade and got caught in the pour. nope no worries the food is safe!!! in the tummy of mine.. hahaha

i'm hungry (clap clap) i'm hungry (clap clap) i know i'm hungry! i know i'm very hungry very hungry!!! *sings to the tune of "HE's ABLE"

2005-10-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

hi, my name is sharon. i'm this kid gg thru a rough patch in life. they say happy sweet 16th birthday.pretty obvious, it aint that sweet. i stagger under the weight of life. the big L word.
life. it was given to us freely yet it became burdened at every juncture of ageing.

like any other ordinary kid, i go to school hang out, dream, and try to slip past the iron fingers of studies. but when you're trying to find yourself and at the same time trying to juggle your studies and the other-side-of-you, you feel desolate. ripped apart by the numerous chains locked around the entire body. like samson in btwn the pillars that held the foundations of the ceiling, i'm standing there. but i'm no samson. i dont push the pillars. the pillars drag me apart. i either fight back or be shredded like used paper.

what can i do? i'm tired. very tired. at one point in life, i literally found no meaning to continue breathing. no, not let death engulf my soul, rather, like the living dead. live without a purpose.
CAN YOU KEEP UP? they ask. i kept up only for that while. wait. no i'll catch up. maybe later. or maybe i start to build my house here. perhaps.

competition everywhere. i dont want to bother. dont drag me into the tide. i hate being jostled and tossed. i told you. i am comfortable in my house. i dont need another.

then one day, the winds came. they howled with despair. shrieked and split my house. my heart. the must of death grew thick and heavy like the fog that settled snugly into my life. i have nothing left. i just walk aimlessly. not knowing that i've circled the valley infinitely.

i stopped. and thought. i typed. this is how i have felt as a teenager. cloudy. i've run dry like the well. holed into my depression continue to walk the journey of life, and breathe the air shared by the others. i am part of the living dead that roam the earth not knowing the others are out there. i dont feel alone. i just feel empty and hollow.

2005-10-19T04:18:00.000-07:00

wooh-hoo.. moondance!! can you imagine dancing on the moon?? nah.

Let's see.. my dad's flying this friday. and my cousin is coming over.

i'm rotting with papers. the smell of low-quality paper decomposing together with my brain has churned my stomach inside out.

i'm very full now after dinner. i had rice with dishes and a bowl of fruit juice. i'm bloated.

i'm talking to esther from brisbane

i'm .. i'm.. i'm..

2005-10-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

going a little crazy.. what vertigo?? they were jsut silly giddy spells. hahaha.. na.. actually its kinda funny if you attempt to be really eccentric..

i just to ikoi last night. boy was i full!!! let me introduce you to this restaurant. IKOI at mirama hotel. it offers fabulous stuff. the sashimi, oh boy, sweet fresh, soft, etc. the the the. sorry i was drooling. cant say anymore. ahh...

anyway, the o's are drawing near. you know how it feels. i'm on the run, away from the big O. but O's are hot on my heels, slow but steady. like relative velocity, it was always behind you but every inch you thrust forward, is every the O strides over. yikes.

oh just a little update,my fingers are ha-r-d. they are very hard. i cant really feel much. kinda drastic? yes. so ppl stick to the piano of the trumpet. guitar, sacrifice the sense of touch. i'm serious.

have i mentioned abt my latest craze?? well its nothing. just that i'm bent on buying a pair of ferragamore shoes. however you spell it.

2005-10-14T04:10:00.000-07:00

I have just graduated. triumphed a phase of life that tried me so many times and crippled me so many times but never broke me. 3 years spent in St Margarets i've never regretted once. never. how dare i make a statement that is so assertive? ask Smss. tho their system of inefficiency annoys me like anything, but they have given me much fond memories. friends and teachrs alike.

I remember once i held the polkadots in much disregard. after a faithful 3 years wearing it day in day out, it slips on confortably and i have no hesitations in picking that dress once again for a good cause. 3 years i enjoyed decent school facilities and experienced moments that can never be bought by all the shoes in world.

Apart from my parents, my teachers have steered me into the right direction. finding my passion and vulnerablities. just merely thanking them by giving them gifts and cards and what have you will not suffice their sacrficial contribution. that's why apart form parents, tchrs are the next best thing to anchor our lives.

so much for graduating. i enjoyed school. i tried not to cry that day but i cldnt resist the swelling dam of emotions. i saw my photo posted on the power point presentation, then i realised that all the crazy and fun stuff i did which cld have torn the school down, i wld never have the chance to relive them. no more. time flew us by like a swift. but i have no regrets.

i think that's the best i cld gain from school and life. no regrets.

2005-10-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

just a moment ago i felt VERTIGO or rather would you call it giddy. i'm spinning inside. its like my soul is leaving. or am i getting sick?? there it is again. it seems likee i'm floating. my fingers still dancing on the keyboard but my body drfiting further towards the dark night. my arms never reached their stretching limit. i just go higher into the stars. then whamp. i'm one with the darkness. into the abyss i go. i cannot feel my form no longer. i have blended into the dark. the night has taken my soul on the ride to nothingness but still its thrilling. cos in that space do you feel - free. -free. liberated. finally i have reached the moment i've been craving for. vertigo. liberate from within.

2005-10-06T05:18:00.000-07:00

what is it we are coming to? we dont talk. we dont smile. we dont acknowledge each other. we dont even want to make eye contact. i'm beginning to hate you. really i do. you've been pms-ing gettnig all edgy. have a permanent frown etched into your skin. what's up man!! fine. you know what, i dont care i dont have to anyway. you look at me as if i am going to gobble you up any moment. i do not eat ppl! i hate it. the image of me in your eyes has blown-up to a monster. yuo're not a shrivelled skinless rat but now that you're acting this way, i see you as that. fine fine go on livnig in seclusion trying to escape me undetected. sorry but if you are working so hard and ignore ppl, go on working hard, snapping at everyone, treading on feet and end up ... i dont know whatever you call it. argh!! what is wrong with you?? you know what, i dont care i wont care. what for. you're not that great a friend anw.

2005-10-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

sorry ppl you've been sharon-deprived!! hahaha.. anw, i haven't blogged in days and i do feel the pinch of withdrawal syndrome. anw, i have jotted down things that i wld have liked to post earlier. anw, before i write that down i have to scream aloud abt STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN!! now, for the record i am no biggie of korean soppies. but the only thing that draws me towards it is the one and alny, ravishing, gorgeous, masculine, hott, KWON SANG-WOO!!!!! Seriously, i'm almost delirous whenever i catch a glimpse of him even on the trailers. but the show is really going very SLOW!!!! all the more better, i can savour that saucey art of perfection. so let you in on a secret.. i am not LES.. hahahha..

and one more star that always arouse me and make me drool. if you are going to laugh, laugh now. yes i admit i find older men very much more attractive. their instinctive leadership and charm has got me working it.!!!! yikes, not. i'll leave it there. let you guess who. only jia knows and she WONT leak it.

and now to be random.

Random things fill my mind.
Things about life.
Dorcas, my friend, like my mind now, she's so random.
Despondance hangs around my room.
Loneliness hovers over me.
I try to sing a tune.
Forget it, its not coming out.
I started on a note too high.
The scratching of the pencil against the page perpetually rings in my ears.
Ave Maria is playing in my head.
The fan very mundanely whirls the motion of air across my bed to the wall, sweeping the must of the diary zipping through my nose.
Now its clogged.
Wait, I head for the loo.
Back.
And i end here.
Random things fill my mind.

2005-10-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

my fingers are hardened very much like my heart. i think. i just received a call on saturday night.it was from my grandmother. let me explain to you that my grandmother is very obstinate and strong. she brought up four children singe-handedly while juggling with work and illiteracy. my mother is her favourite daughter among the three girls. of course the apple wld be my uncle just a few years younger than my mum.

My grandmother is not a christian. i think tt's largely the reason why she cant let my mum go after so many months. she still wants to make memories with the abscence of my mother's prescence. For heaven's sake!!! sheis dead. burnt up in flames that howled our anguish we all screamied inside. i dont understand why ppl must go to the extend of manifesting their longing for the person. you ask me if i loved my mother judging by the way i write this. i dont need to answer you.

Technology was meant to make this world corrupt. copy and pasting someone's face into a photograph does not bring her back. why weave fairy tales that only tell fantasies that can never come true. Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, these stories can identify with love stories that share the smae fate. Not the trying to bring back the dead by fabrication.

Continue to live blindly. thinking that by sill photos can satisfy your eyes that feast on her pretty face. but have you realised that putting her inside makes the photo more empty. it doenst bring comfort. just more pain. once again it stings your eyes bcos you know that she didnt enjoy the day with us. dont you realise..

forget it. you ppl are old enough to make your own decisions. you shld be matured and smart. i cant lecture you. its not right. but dont be silly anymore

2005-09-30T21:36:00.000-07:00

hahahaha... dadadadad.. i cant shit for the past two days and i'm farting like anything!!

anw, my fingers are downright sore.. wait i've blogged for the day right?? nvm this is for the night..

i was on the bus this evening making my way down to dad's office. along hte way there's this kid and her mum who boarded as well. well the kid was down syndrome. she was very shy and coy. i could tell that her mother was very strict with her judging by the way she curled inwards when her mother was merely talking to her. the mother loves her shild and protects her. this struck a chord (guit) in me and i had to write abt the shielding love of a mother of a special child. here goes.

She's just special

A mother's love shields all.

She's special, she's different.
She's over-protected.
Protected from the evil stares of society.
Society scorns her, society hurts her.
"You're just a burden," they cursed.
Society can care, society can care.
"You're just special," they assure.

She throws a fuss, tears the walls down.
Shrieking and wailing, still she doesnt get her way.
Softly her mother's love pricks her conscience.
She stops, she realises.
She's not dumb, she's just special.

She's no shame of society though she may be shunned.
Behind the little eyes and a twitching nose,
There lies the kindest soul.
Who taught her love?
Who taught her to love?

The greatest caretaker who went beyond just any mother.
A mother's love is the shield that deflects mockery away.
She just says" She's special"
She is no circus animal to laugh at.
They're taught skills and people appreciate.
However some think its a game and applaud as if its entertainment.

Thye're no outcast, they're no shame.
They're pepole just like us.
So what downsyndrome?
Society that loathes their "imperfection"
suffer from their pride. They, are not normal.

A child she is. Just another child.

2005-09-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

calling all angels..

err. i was listening to tt song. haha.. anw, its freakish weather these few days. you hear thunders roaring in the bloody bright skies. then as if the wind took steroids, the dark clouds come sweeping across the skies and pour upon us her tears she wept for the degrading world. woo-hoo _-_,,,

Hmm, so besides reading this blog what are you doing?? well i am doing nothing to hang a new line of fresh socks which is quite sickening. i'm ALWAYS distracted. the guitar is no good.. but yet its wonderful!!!

okok..ihave absolutely nothing to write abt other than to complain abt my fingers. they bite!! talking abt complaints. dont you find that Singaporeans re a complainful lot?? they've got nothing to do and complain their feet off. they complain abt the govt. criticize this and that. Esp the dengue plague. argh. i rmb some nut mentioned that it was the govt's fault to plant so many trees..
goondu!!! what thehell is wrong with your pea-size brain??!!!! dont you know the world is experiencing GLOBAL-WARMING??? havent you heard or have you been living in that hole of yours?? you need the trees to balance the greenhouse gases!! the entire world system.. if you dont learn science, eat this. trees photosynthesize and replenish O2 i the atmosphere. Plants do a lot more than jus supplying O2 just in case you didnt know..

if you read ppl, the world degenerates by herself after a certain period. which explains the inexplicable ice age eh? so with modernization it has jus sped up the rate of degeneration. so the next person who blames the trees for this dengue fever outbreak, you get an earful from me. and i promise it wld be one of the best lessons you've ever learnt. you hear??!!! that fool out there..

2005-09-29T04:42:00.000-07:00

blistering sore!!!! my fingers are blistering sore!!!

i've just received an award for my bad prelim results also in motivation to keep me away from the television. a new guitar!! plug-in guitar. i have no guitar history only piano and singing.. this is my first very own plug-in guitar. i'm so in love with it. i've been strumming Eminor and D chord for the past hour and as i type, my fingers on the left hand are stinging. they're kinda numb. yes its excruciating but its a sacrifice to make for love. its always like that la anw. i cant escape pain when learning the guitar likewise the piano. hahaha..

anw, in school we've been playing Let's play the _______ Game.
we played many games. all which required optimum observation. hahaha.. it was kinda interesting. Esp the new i learnt, its called the Fengshui Game. those who know.. sshh..

Besides, i also tried playing this game for the rest of my life.
I'll never cry game. i dont wana cry no more. no more silly sop operas and death. numb myself to down-trodden emotions like my fingers are. they're like literally buzzing with sensation. each time i touch a key, the tingly feeling bites the tip of the fingers. heh.

i am now resolute to master the guitar and become a professional lead singer of a band. a little knowledge of two instruments will boost my musical talent!!! woo-hoo.. tho i might sing out of tune sometimes but there's that instinct which craves for freedom of expression of the turbulent emotions within me. how poetic. bah!

ok. back to amath and geog!! gagaga..